公交小故事二则
妈的，公交车色狼这个事上，我也是受害者（装逼犯）啊！上周日下午洗完澡后，想提前回公司宿舍，于是坐的公交车，人很多很挤然后……我要抓扶手才能站的稳啊！可是…我身前站了一个妹子紧靠着扶手杆。那我就抓着扶手，然后和妹子保持安全距离呗。妈的！还想让我怎样？可是妹子她竟然撅着屁股啊！有木有？卧槽！劳资想朝后面让一让的。劳资之前知道“公车色狼”这个词的好么？我是有文化有理想，立志报销…哦不，立志报效国家的爱国青年啊！万一旁边的英雄好汉把我当成色狼揍一顿，得不偿失啊！可是！我背后有两个大书包顶着我的腰和屁股，我挪不动啊！那狗日的妹子还时不时的回头看我一眼！她脸红了！她脸红了！她居然脸红了！妹子！我不是色狼啊，你别误会好吗？可恶的公交车，你还能不能好好的开了？走走停停的搞毛线啊？一会晃一下，一会晃一下！妈的！我想不硬都难啊！那妹子的屁股太有弹性了，我心里是承认的，虽然我表面装作一副嫌弃脸！我发现那妹子的屁股还扭了几下。时不时的扭几下！我勒个大去！！！————分割线————后来我顺着人流就逃到后面去了。可是她还时不时的扭头看我一眼！红着脸，时不时的回头看我一眼！妈的！劳资真不是色狼啊啊啊啊啊啊！
好多年前的一个冬天我在光谷那边坐公交，一只手提着东西一只手抓着握把，面对着车头。有一站上来一个穿着时髦但并不暴露的女生，站在我前面，主动跟我搭话问我大洋百货在哪，我就跟她讲在哪逛街blabla，她本来是侧着身子跟我讲话，后来就背对着我了，开始还有个安全距离，但是武汉公交司机的技术你懂得，她就一下一下的往我怀里撞，一开始我还觉得不好意思，想把身子侧起来，我刚想抬头展开胳膊找地方，她一下整个身子贴在我怀里了，感觉敞开的外套都把她裹在里面了，头也靠在脖子一侧，背贴着胸，然后屁股很翘而且有点弹性，感觉不到腰。当你们以为我在心猿意马的时候，其实作为天蝎的警戒心一下子提起来了，第一反应是她要偷东西，然后一想，我好像啥也没带也就是手里提了东西，一边瞎想她就这样贴着跟我讲话，什么第一次来武汉也没个人陪都不知道去哪玩blabla，持续了两站路，然后我再也受不了她这种行为就跟她说我到站了，挤开后面的人跑下去了。他么的要不是我36D的女朋友在车站等我，我早就扔了手里的东西把她摸个遍了，不发骚以为我真斯文啊？
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